We present a framework that combines the adjoint-state method together with reverse-time backpropagation to solve prohibitively large open-system quantum control problems. Our approach enables the optimization of arbitrary cost functions with fully general controls applied on large open quantum systems described by a Lindblad master equation. It is scalable, computationally efficient, and has a low-memory footprint. We apply this framework to optimize two inherently dissipative operations in superconducting qubits which lag behind in terms of fidelity and duration compared to other unitary operations: the dispersive readout and all-microwave reset of a transmon qubit. Our results show that while standard pulses for dispersive readout are nearly optimal, adding a transmon drive during the protocol can yield 2x improvements in fidelity and duration. We further demonstrate a 2x improvement in reset fidelity and duration through pulse shaping, indicating significant potential for enhancement in reset protocols. Our approach can readily be applied to optimize quantum controls in a vast range of applications such as reservoir engineering, autonomous quantum error correction, and leakage-reduction units.